Tuesday, September 27, 2011

la la la la la

. You've got a really weird way of making me feel like crap.
. I really have the urge to be in texas right now. it just seems like the fun thing to do.
. I think sometimes its okay to think about people you know you shouldn't who doesn't?
. I get my feelings hurt to easily.
. I thank God everyday for answering that prayer.
. Some people really get me, and some really don't. but thats normal. and thats life.
. I'll never apologize for being me.
. The funniest thing I heard today was that my dad bought a bowling alley. it made me laugh so hard. random fact.
. I think I might start going to counseling again. I wanna get over it. but I don't know how anymore.
. I'm not ashamed to post anything on here. so sorry if you think I'm weird.
. The littlest things make my day, I saw a shooting star tonight it made me so happy.
. I'm learning to just walk away from the silly things.
. I try to never sad or mad tweet.
. I wish I was a beautiful dancer. i have no rhythm. so I do it for the laughs.
. My sisters business is closing down, I'm sad to see her dream go away. and be unsuccessful. but i see a lot of good in it for her. it will be okay. i promise. through thick and thin.


Monday, September 26, 2011

change. it happens.

I think about change all the time. mostly before I go to bed or when I'm driving. I'm learning its a huge part of life and that I will always have to be okay with change cause sometimes you can't help it. and thats okay. I'm learning that people change. and sometimes they leave or come back. and sometimes I don't like either of those. or sometimes they change into the very person you always thought they wouldn't be. but at the end of the day people are people. and you have to learn to either be okay with who that person is now. or leave and walk away. I've never really been one to really walk away. even if I might say i'm going to. I'm learning that I have changed that I'm not who I was a year ago. and sometimes when I sit and really really look at who I am I see changes that I'm not always okay with but I realize that its going to happen and I think its okay to go through changes in life that aren't always good. its a learning experience. but I see a lot of good in myself of where i was a year ago. and I'm content with that. but at the end of the day change is a funny thing. and no matter how hard you try to stop it from occurring it wont.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


. I always give people chances. and I never stop. and sometimes I end up getting hurt that way. but I wont ever stop giving people the chance.
. I sometimes wonder where I'd be if my mom was still around. or even who I'd be. cause she would have raised me nothing like how my dad did.
. It makes me so angry that you couldn't be the way you are now. you seem happy. why couldn't you be like that for the last 8 years.
. I'll never forget the names you called me. no dad should ever say the things you said to me. I have no idea what heartbreak feels like but when I think back on those times I'd imagine thats how it would feel.
. I wanna be worth it.
. I'm scared I won't.
. I'm sorry for all that you have been through. but I feel like I understand you and why you say and do the things you do.
. I wonder when the day I'll stop talking so negative about my dad. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to talk positive.
. I don't think you like being happy for people who are happy.
. Sometimes you just have to really really give it all you got.
. I hope that i'm not too much to handle.
. Today I chose to not be scared of everything anymore.
. I dont ever wanna look back on my life and wonder what if.
. I dont know where I stand on drinking. and I hate when people point out when I'm not drinking.
. I need my bestfriend right now.
. I still get nervous.
. I can't wait for the winter time. its my favorite.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I really don't know what I want anymore. life wise. like career wise. but then again I'm only 19. so thats okay right.
I always listen to the same music when I write.
People who genuinely love people with all that they've got. makes me happier then you'll ever know.
I want to change lives someday. and I think you can change lives in whatever you do. some people don't think that. but you really can. i promise.
Looking at your facebook and seeing who you are now. reminds me that I don't know you anymore. that breaks my heart. but you seem happy. so thats good.
Its stupid to stay together when it just seems like the right thing. so you do all the right things. but at the end of the day sometimes its just not going to work out. and you'll be okay.
The month of may has been my favorite month of 2011.
I've been to counseling 2 times in my life. i'm sad that I was ever ashamed of that. its okay to go to counseling. it doesn't mean your crazy or whatever people think these days.
I'm really self conscious of my body. i'll get over it.
I hope I get to live in texas someday. I googled small towns in texas the other day. they were beautiful. now if only dillon, texas existed.
I really am a mess.
You really do make me proud.
I'm learning to be more supportive even when I don't understand it.
I'm far to quick to speak sometimes. and I normally regret it all the minute it comes out of my mouth.
I've had the hardest times of my life in the fall and winter, but I've got a really happy feeling about this fall and winter. I feel like it's a God thing.
I wish I remembered my dreams, cause I feel like I've got really good ones.
You've seemed really good when you call lately. I'm glad.