it always reminds me of you.

My old man's got a problem

He did with the bottle thats the way it is

He said his body is too old for workin'

His body is too young to look like his

Mama went off and left him

She wanted more from life than he could give

I said somebody's gotta take care of him

So I quit school and thats what I did.

I miss this. I miss that you. It was good then.

there is beauty in brokenness.

I like to read random peoples blogs or tumblrs. Its just fun for me and I think its more fun when you don't know that person. I don't really know why I like it so much. But as I sit here reading people's and they are pouring their hearts out, it breaks mine. Its completely hit me that at the end of the day we are all broken. every single one of us. the most amazing thing about it all is we have a God who restores brokenness and mends the pieces. thats beautiful when you sit and really really think about it. cause I think a good part of the time we live life just trying to fake it just trying to make it through. and the greatest thing is that we don't have to.

I trust in you. I believe your my healer. I believe you are all I need.

I believe your my portion. I believe your more than enough for me. Jesus your all I need.

i need you.

I'm sitting here looking through old pictures. Everything was so simple back then, I can't remember having a single care in the world. I miss that. I'm fixing to move out of the house I've lived in for the past 12 years of my life, and I don't really feel like I've got a single reason to be sad about that. but I'm sad. I'm not sure I'm ready but I guess I kind of have to be. There's just something about tonight that makes me feel like I need you more than ever just to hold me and tell me that its all going to be okay. that I'll be fine. But your not here and you can't do that so somehow I've gotta tell myself I'm okay and its all going to be just fine. I need you. I miss you.

the truth is..

I'm not doing really good.

and thats okay.

I like writing like this.

1. On Fathers Day... I didn’t wish my dad a Happy Father’s Day. the sad thing is is that I’m okay with it. thats the only part that hurts.
2. Sometimes I think its best to walk away and never look back.
3. I hate people who tell you just what you want to hear.
4. The song “the house that built me” by Miranda Lambert makes me cry most of the time I listen to it. it just hits home for me i guess.
5. I over analyze just about everything. i hate it.
6. Lately i’ve cried more than normal. i miss my mom.
7. Honestly being close to someone scares me more than it probably should.
8. I would give anything to go back to when my biggest worry was being home before the street light came on. But there’s a part of me that knows I’m doing just fine where I am.
9. Someday I wanna live in a two-story house that sits on a huge piece of land.
10. I’m far to awkward.
11. Its stupid to try and make something work when you know it wont.
12. I think its okay to just cry or to just feel sad sometimes.
13. For the first time in a long time I think I’m good to go.
14. I hate when people stay in relationships cause its all they really know. you’ll be okay if you leave. I promise.
15. Sometimes I wonder where you are. I don’t miss you though.
16. You make me feel really happy. like the kind of happy that I lay in bed by myself and just smile. that kind of happy.
17. I think you know what you need to do. I just wish you could.
18. I think to much about lyrics that people post.
19. I like sitting in that passenger seat of yours or on that tailgate.
20. Your a twitter whore. But like in a good way.
21. I think its best that you let go and let the past be the past. I know thats hard but I think you and I both know thats what you need.
22. Your a complete mess.
23. I miss going to church and fusion. those were some of the best times of my life spent with those crazy people.
24. Your an asshole for leaving your “family” behind. But glad you’ve got a new one.
25. I talk about my nose a lot.
26. I don’t really like using correct grammar when writing. as you’ve noticed.

change.

I'm sitting here in my house. by myself. and it's completely hit me that there has been so much change lately in my life. some good. some bad. I've witnessed things I never thought I would. the other night I watched my sister throw her wedding ring at her husband stating she no longer wants what she has. But in all reality it didn't come as a shock. its all I've ever know to see people leave. it sounds like a taylor swift song saying it that way, but I don't know a better way to word it. sorry. people wake up one day and realize that they no longer want what is right there in front of them anymore. and a part of me is completely okay with that because I know that people change their minds. and thats okay.