Tuesday, August 23, 2011

i like writing like this cause i get all of it out at once.

I feel like I might not know who you are anymore.
I started my second year of college yesterday, I don't know how I feel about it quite yet.
I didn't sleep last night, everything just replayed in my head. over and over.
I hope I never have to sing lyrics to that song and acutally be able to relate.
Sometimes I wish you'd pick up the phone and call, but if you did I wouldn't answer.
Thank you for loving me for me.
I wish you'd stop acting like you dont have a clue on what the hell is going on.
If you didn't think it was about you, you are completley mistaken.
I don't ever want to go back to that place. its not the same. and it won't be.
I love when people are so passionate about what they do. It brings an indescribable happiness to my life.
If I could I'd give anything to move right now. but I think I'd be back in a week.
I love your laugh.
I like listening to sad music when it rains. but sometimes I'm not sad. it just fits better.
Your one of the most beautiful people inside and out.
Someday I wanna sit with someone whose eating alone. I havent decided if its creepy or nice yet.
I'm glad that you read everything I post on here, you dont' know how happy that makes me. and how you bring it up in little ways just to let me know you've seen it.
I'm beyond ready for winter.
I quit my job, I don't have another one. but I kind of think thats okay. for now.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I'm growing up.

and your not here. your not here to see it. your not here to see how my life is playing out. I miss you a lot these days. I got my first bill in the mail today and it hit me that I'm an adult and I live on my own and thats all so weird still, and your not here to witness that. I start school tomorrow and if you were here you would know that and you'd be the one that cared and you'd be there asking me all about it and what I plan on doing and when and where my classes are. dad didn't even know I started school but then again he didn't even know what today was. there isn't a day that doesn't pass by that I don't think about you. for some reason the other day I said "mom" in reference to something and I realized I haven't said that in a while and it hit me that I'll never be able to use that word like I should be able to use that word. my hearts heavy tonight. its one of those times i need to pick up the phone and call you. or drive wherever you are. but your not here.

late nights.

I always think far to much when its late, but I'm pretty sure everyone does. I hate that I over analyze everything in my life. I hate that I question everything. Its late nights like these where what if after what if runs through my head. i hate that. I can tell my self to let go of every fear and doubt and whatever else and say to hell with it. but its never that easy. ever. but tonight i'll try.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I really miss this place.

Lives were changed here. My life was changed here.
chains be broken. lives be healed. eyes be opened. Christ is revealed.

Monday, August 1, 2011


make me really happy. I'm glad I know you exist now.